Actually this is just a rambly post.

I got a reminder the other day that I have an RE fic that I need to finish, also I know my DC one is on hiatus at the moment, the muses fell asleep on me while I got into crafty mode.

This week though, when I'm not mainlining RE and DC stuff I'll be taking pictures and hopefully stocking my online shop with necklaces, a few cards, and if I actually can clear off the room on my work table I'll be making a few notebooks to pop up too.  All this while trying to look for a job that I can use to get out of where I'm living because really, as much as I care about the housemates, I need room of my own where my zen won't be broken by someone jumping around, or someone else insulting me because I made the choice to become Christian.

And to tell the truth, I'm happy about my choice.  My church is small, there's only about 40 of us, and it's the first place I've felt like I've belonged since I left home when I was 19.  Hell even going back home a while back I felt like an outsider.  Which, means I'm probably going back soon.  Alaska's been on my mind a lot, but I want to go back up there properly, not running away from a bad experience again.

It's been on my mind a lot lately.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm using my hometown for the backdrop of a horror story that I'm working on to deal with my inner demons (Hey I've only been Christian a year, and writing horror helps me clear my head).  I think if I get it to the point I want to publish I'll be using a different name than my own.  Mostly so that my family at Church don't think I've sunk into depression (they met me in a low point of that and being with them actually is helping with it, even though I really doubt I'll share my writing with them). 

I don't even let my father read my writing, so it's not trying to keep my 'innocent' nature, they've seen some of my scars and some of them have heard the stories about where I've been.  Which where I've been I think was just getting me to where I am now.  Now if I can only focus on writing, getting the story out and all that stuff.  I know that I can't do it in this house.  I need to be somewhere that I'm not having people interrupting every five minutes. 

I'm thinking that when I can I'll also go to counseling.  I know I need it.  Everyone in this house does, but it's not like I'll be able to convince them of it.  One won't leave the house unless dragged kicking and screaming.  And the other watches the clock so much... Though in reality that's the least of his problem.  He also doesn't think about others around him.  I blame his father for that, the man thinks the best way to get things done is by yelling and harping on others. 

Wonder if I'm that bad when it came to helping raise my little brother.  I hope not... and if I was I hope that I can get rid of the nickname he gave me of "Harpy".  I was only trying to keep him out of trouble.

And yeah, I'm going to leave with that, pop in a zombie movie and try to finish up some cards that I want to get up on line tomorrow.

NG.
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